The first time I had a white rabbit candy was when I was in Peru as a kid. I ate the candy and marveled at how the inner paper, which I had tried to peel, was actually edible.
This was one of many firsts. The first time I had some of the best food I would ever eat. My mom’s family and I ate at a chifa en el circulo militar. It was a chifa located in an exclusive club only for family of Peruvian military members. My uncle always managed to get two carloads of kids and adults into the circulo militar by smooth talking the stern looking Peruvian military men at the entry gates.
I loved the anonymity I experienced in Peru. Surrounded by my Peruvian family, I just seemed pretty normal back then. Just a normal indigenous rooted Peruvian (-American) kid.
There was no deep seated discomfort whenever I saw the latest white girl trending on all the channels and movies, or discomfort with how hispanic my voice sounded when I was speaking spanish to my mom in public.
There was no crying inside because there was no-one like me in my neighborhood, noone like me in my school. Somehow disappearing into the ocean of brown skinned peeps was as liberating as being a mega pop star with brightly colored hair and a smart outfit could be.
.
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I felt so accepted, just by virtue of me being a brown skinned girl with the struggle ™.
My father said that being Hispanic was what I should write on my college essay, that it was the main “special” thing I had to offer.
I now know why his words made my inner kid tremble, sent quaking tremors down my inner chest, and collected scars in my stomach.
I now know that it doesn’t matter what makes me “special.” That I am a person worthy of all the human things ™. Being a child who visited Peru had taught me that long ago. If I am alive, even if I wasn’t being paid a living wage, or American, I still am a human that deserves to be humanized and a human being worthy of respect. That doesn’t mean I will always get respect but we are all sentient beings worthy of acknowledgement from the other sentient beings with whom we exist in tandem.
To speak of a world united without stereotypes of who others are, is to speak of an unrealistic future in my lifetime. To mince words over the way others should act relinquishes our central ideas that we have for our own lives.
Q: How do we want to be the main character in our lives? Is always the most enlightened answer to be a main character in our lives?
A: Zero-Sum games and nihilism are what have driven humanity this far. For every cheap product, there is an underpaid worker. For every ten houses without running water, there is one with a trash can overflowing with garbage.
What will drive us to the edge? To a break-away from our previous normal. Will it be climate change, political crisis? The abolition of Roe vs. Wade? As Americans, we live in one of the most rich and welcoming countries in the world. When it is enough...
It will be time to look inside our inner fishbowls, see the dead fish, and scoop them out. It will be time to develop our hearts and minds to the point that we can respect all people. Even those believing they don't deserve to be respected because of where they live and exist.
